Carjacker snatches truckload of golden retriever puppies at gunpoint

First, let’s fast-forward to answer the most important question: No puppies were harmed in the making of this dumb-criminal story.

Now, back to the beginning: A Bay Area man with a litter of golden retriever puppies for sale agreed to meet a potential buyer in public, in Hayward, Calif. The potential buyer turned out to be an actual carjacker who pulled a gun and demanded the puppy seller yield his Chevy Avalanche. The gunman hopped in and drove away — with puppies still inside, in much the same way some carjackers drive off with kids in their carseats. Before long, police give chase, and the puppyjacker managed to flip the Avalanche onto its roof. He fled on foot, which didn’t last long. Chase over, perp apprehended.

In its Facebook post, the Hayward PD says the three puppies were recovered from the wreckage and “were a little shaken up, but were comforted by officers.” We’ll bet, on both counts.

The suspect is being held at Santa Rita County Jail, charged with carjacking, felony evasion in a vehicle, animal endangerment, possession of narcotics and weapons charges, police said. 

What’s unclear in this tale is motive. Was the thief in need of any kind of transportation, or did he take a particular shine to the Avalanche? Or was he after the puppies all along? During the pandemic, demand for pets skyrocketed, as did prices. (You’ll recall that Lady Gaga’s dog walker was shot during the theft of her valuable French bulldogs back in April.) And what is more desirable than a double-handful of fuzzy, rolly-polly golden retriever pups? Nothing — though these particular puppies were more like juveniles, maybe 6 to 9 months old from the look of the photos. Still nice dogs, though.

Anyway, pets have become expensive. And post-pandemic, the prices of used vehicles have skyrocketed as well. We’re not sure what’s worth more, the truck-like-thing Avalanche or the puppies. Just that the puppies are cuter.